Monday, August 23, 2010

Mugsy visits Yellowstone

"The park seems so empty now that the ayatollah is gone," said one bison.

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK (AP) -- Three-thousand bison rallied Monday in the world's oldest national park, vowing to remember the lessons handed down to them by their spiritual leader Ayatollah Mugsy. 

The pug wrapped up his visit to Yellowstone and Grand Teton national parks late Sunday, returning to his Texas compound. He had announced his last-minute vacation plans only nine days earlier, declaring on a nationally televised broadcast dubbed "The Decision" and on his Facebook page that he would be "taking my talents to Yellowstone."

Over the course of a 3,500-mile road trip, the enigmatic canine cleric met with numerous bison, elk, deer, antelope, otter, wolf, coyote and bear followers. Officials with the ayatollah's Pug Life Ministries said that the journey was especially important because the park lacks Wi-Fi, leaving its animals unable to keep up with Mugsy's teachings online. 

Members of a bison family share a solemn moment of reflection.
As one bison sounded the call to prayer early Monday on a misty meadow, several of his cohorts blocked traffic to ensure that no humans interfered with the herd's solemn commemoration of the ayatollah's visit. They vowed to repeat the ceremony daily. The Old Faithful geyser was lowered to half-staff for the day to mark the pug's departure. 

Meanwhile, in nearby Jackson, Wyo., movie star Harrison Ford confirmed to the website that he had been granted an audience late last week with the ayatollah, whom he called "my spiritual guide and mentor." He said he had met with the religious icon and his younger brother Wendell at a popular pizza joint on Thursday. 

Mugsy's dinner was reportedly dictated by a divine sign.
"His Excellency said he saw a sign at Yellowstone that provided divine guidance as far as where we should eat," said Ford, 68. "I don't question the ayatollah; I was just honored to be in his presence. Calista [Flockhart, Ford's new wife] would have joined us, but she never eats on days that start with a 'T' or an 'S.'"

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