The ministry's gift shop has been named in a frivolous cease-and-desist letter, my flock. An infidel who has a trademark on a bowling design claims that it gives him dominion over all uses of the word "pinhead." If this were the case, he would be owed royalties by all who crossed his path and then muttered the word under their breath as they walked away from him. Though he clearly has much personal experience with being a pinhead, his knowledge of copyright and trademark law is sorely lacking. In short, my flock, he has picked a fight with the wrong pug. Not only have I passed the bar in Pugistan, but I have also served as judge, jury and executioner for countless chew toys. My team of legal beagles is researching relevant cases as we speak. God willing, this infidel will regret crossing Pug Life Ministries. It is time for some justice, ayatollah-style.