Saturday, July 04, 2009

It's Independence Day


On this date in 1776, America's founding fathers signed the Declaration of Independence and set out to establish a more perfect Great Satan. Today, we celebrate their success. I hope you all have a fun-filled, relaxing holiday weekend. And remember these safety tips:

  • Use sunscreen.
  • Do not drink and drive.
  • Wear a lifejacket. (Unless you're on land; then you would just look silly.)
  • Canines don't generally like the sound of firecrackers, so bring them inside where they won't be tempted to try to escape. Also, share the barbecue with them.
  • Let the professionals handle the fireworks. Especially if you live next door to the ayatollah compound.
  • If you choose to set off your own fireworks, remember to hold them in your non-dominant hand. This way, your penmanship is less likely to suffer if you blow off a limb.

3 comments:

Jan said...

My uncle Three Fingers would find your advice most wise.

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Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Peace be upon Uncle Three Fingers.

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