I do not usually follow the trends in children's entertainment. First, such drivel offers no benefit to a pug with as highly developed an intellect as mine. It is better suited for young Wendell. And second, my appearance on the Barney TV show several years ago ended in an ugly fight in which I nearly severed the purple dinosaur's tail. The ensuing lawsuit set the ministry back years, and I vowed to steer clear of potential trouble spots.
But I have taken an interest in the newly updated look of Dora the Explorer (above right). Many parents were outraged when a silhouette of the older, hipper character was introduced earlier this month. Though the update did away with the younger Dora's scandalous bare midriff, some soccer moms felt the new "tween" Dora was too sexy. "Dora the Streetwalker," they called her. Mattel and Nickelodeon finally unveiled the new Dora yesterday, and many parents were relieved to find that she was wearing a long shirt and leggings, not a short skirt as they'd earlier feared. Still, many parents preferred the old look. One woman on the local news last night even labeled the new Dora a hussy.
My flock, I care deeply about the children. If the puppies are our future leaders, then the human children are our future leaders' future assistants. So I take the problem of Dora's wardrobe quite seriously. I have instructed Pug Life Ministries' design division to create a compromise outfit for young Dora -- one that maintains her roughly 10-year-old age yet adds a needed touch of modesty. I suspect that Mattel, Nickelodeon and parents everywhere will be pleased with the result.