It's a gas, gas, gas

One of my friends on Facebook recently said that she wished her pug were not so "gaseous." And this, I suppose, is understandable. There are times when my aroma offends even myself. So strong are my instincts for self-preservation that mother and father often notice me leaping down from their laps shortly before any smell hits their nose. You see, I know what is coming. But humans should not bemoan such emissions. On the contrary, they should welcome them. In the coming canine revolution, this will be our secret weapon -- on a grand scale. And those fortunate enough to have slowly built up an immunity will fare much better than those being subjected to this frightening and disorienting brand of biological warfare for the first time.