An ugly champion

Yoda proves that even the ugliest dog is pretty darn cute.

Assalamu alaikum, my flock. Today, the ministry extends its paw in congratulations to Yoda, a Chinese crested-Chihuahua mix who recently won the prestigious World's Ugliest Dog Contest. Yoda beat out 29 other contestants at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in California and took home $1,600 in prize money. 


Although not terribly ugly by historical standards (who could forget the legendary Sam), the 14-year-old competed honorably and proved more than capable of fetching the ugly stick. Caretaker Terry Devine-Schumacher said the contest recognizes dogs who might otherwise go unnoticed -- never a bad thing. 

Yoda gets a good-luck kiss
before the competition.

"Something like this allows dogs like Yoda to shine," she told the Hanford Sentinel.

Devine-Schumacher said her daughter found Yoda in a field when the dog was 2 years old.


"Nicole came to me holding her and kept asking ‘Look, look, mama, what I found! Can I keep it?'" Devine-Schumacher said. "I wasn't sure at first and almost told her no, because at first I thought she was holding a rat or something else. But then we realized the poor thing was a dog, and we've loved and cared for her ever since."

Boxer KOs ugly-dog competition

In a history-making upset over the weekend, a boxer named Pabst claimed the title of World's Ugliest Dog at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in California. Pabst (above), so named because of his "bitter beer face," defeated a Chinese crested to claim the prestigious title in the one contest that yours truly could never win.

Pabst's blue-ribbon win was surprising because the Chinese crested breed typically owns the title. It's like the greyhound in racing, the Kennedy and Bush families in politics, the bad accent in "True Blood." The Chinese crested has "ugly" embedded in its DNA. So the boxer's win, aided by his reverse-vampire underbite, was quite a feat, indeed.

Pabst's caretaker, Miles Egstad, was surprised by the boxer's victory, exclaiming, "I don't think he's that ugly!" Still, he was surely happy to pocket $2,600 in prize money. I tend to agree with Egstad's assessment -- Pabst doesn't even come close to the standard of ugliness set by legendary three-time winner Sam. As a fellow owner of an underbite, albeit a much less severe one, I believe that Pabst's dental issues convey a certain gravitas. But Pabst is a deserving champion and should be commended on his win. Thankfully, this year's contest was not marred by any ugly controversy like the 2006 event.

Pabst, we at Pug Life Ministries salute you, and we eagerly await the arrival of your $260 tithe. You have joined the pantheon of unappealing pooches, scaling the highest heights of hideousness. Many dogs competed, but only you could fetch the ugly stick.

In closing, I would like to recite a poem from the classic 1986 movie "Wildcats." This one's for you, Pabst:

U-G-L-Y,

You ain't got no alibi,

You ugly.