Greetings, my flock. I am back in my throne at the ayatollah compound after my trip to New York. My return was delayed when I was detained for several days at LaGuardia Airport by the Transportation Security Administration. They claimed that I was being held because I had more than 3 ounces of liquid in my carry-on water bowl, but I strongly suspect that I was the victim of racial and religious profiling. Janet Napolitano, you will be hearing from my attorney.