Thursday, August 25, 2005

This ministry can't stand pat

Pat Robertson, that enlightened font of televangelistic wisdom, has apologized for calling for the assassination of the democratically elected president of Venezuela. Of course, he didn't apologize right away. First he lied during Wednesday's airing of "The 700 Club," using the old-standby excuse that the media had taken his earlier remarks out of context. Never mind that he was on the air Monday when he said the following about Hugo Chavez: "If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war. ... We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability." He also made the baffling assertion that Mr. Chavez was bent on exporting Islamic extremism across the Americas. Venezuela is, apparently, a hotbed of Islamic extremism. Now, I'm not upset by what Mr. Robertson said. This is the man who a couple of years ago suggested that it would be a good idea to detonate a "very small nuke" at the State Department headquarters; I've come to expect such wackiness. I'm fairly certain that he believes the Teletubbies are homosexuals, even if he hasn't said so publicly. What bothers me is that Mr. Robertson has a TV show, and I don't. If anyone ever had a mug for television, surely it is I. So I've set out to rectify this injustice. My first step: Writing an unsolicited letter to a television network. God willing, I will take my ministry to the airwaves. If any of you television-savvy readers have any suggestions or prime-time time slots to offer, I'd be happy to hear from you.

4 comments:

JMG said...

Well, the problem here is that Robertson owns his own network and has the money to get his show onto other networks. If you had plenty of money, you could be on TV in any time slot you want.

You're certainly better looking than Mr. Robertson, I have to say.

Leah said...

I found your blog from a comment you left on someone else's and I love it! I have two pugs so this is so great!!!

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Welcome to the Pug Life fold, Jason and Leah. I hope you will help me spread the gospel. Should your pugs need spiritual guidance, know that I am available.

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

You're right, JMG. I haven't been focused enough on fundraising. Though it will be difficult to finance both the Dogloo compound and a television network, we must raise the funds. If Al Gore can start his own TV network (after inventing the Internet, no less), then certainly the Pug Nation can pool its resources to do the same.